Impatience

Nick comes in today, today, today! I seriously have no idea how I am going to sit still much less concentrate at work today. I haven't seen him in two months and he's here in less than 12 hours!!!

Of course...

Today was the first day I was really able to ride my scooter around instead of my car. I know that doesn't make much sense since I have had the thing for 2.5 weeks now but it's true. Pretty much I have only ridden it to my dad's house just to get used to driving it and then I have ridden it to work twice to commute. But the whole reason I bought the thing was to help me do all my around town driving. I live in an area with a lot of stop signs, pedestrians and traffic lights all of which are killer on my Jeep gas mileage. So I bought my pretty scooter to drive around and help me with errands and visiting friends.

Anyway, like I was saying, today was the first day I really got to experience the scooter for what I bought it for. Happy little errands around town. As I was scooting I was thinking about how I was going to get home and write this blog that I am currently writing right now, which is pathetic but I don't care. I wanted to write it because I wanted to share my joy. The joy of my bright orange scarf whipping in the wind behind me. The joy of people stopping to talk to me at stoplights and ask me about my scooter. The joy of the nods I get from motorcyclists who don't realize I am actually only driving a 150cc scooter. The joy of just being on a bright orange thing that is brand new and completely bought by me with no help from any other parties. It's the first thing I have ever really owned and gotten for myself completely with no help. It makes me smile just to ride around in traffic!

Anyway, as I was driving around town and thinking about taking pictures of me with the scooter and what kind of quippy descriptions I was going to put on my photos... it happened. I'm parked at a stop sign and some BIG ass truck makes a three point turn. They don't see me. I freeze. Since I've only had the thing for 2 weeks my hand can't find the horn. Big ass truck hits me and plows me and my scooter over. The scooter dumps to the ground, I go rolling a few times and then hit a guardrail. As I am falling all I can think of is, "NOOO! Not the brand new scooter!" I get up and imediately start crying because that's who I am: a big fat crier. I just was so terrified and so instantly aware of the fact that my new shiny, less than 100 miles toy that I was so happy with all day was not going to escape this incident unscathed. Luckily I wasn't hurt, only a minor knee scrape. The scooter fared well too. Basically a few big scratches along the side that dumped, which the other driver will pay for.

In the end it's all going to work out. I wasn't hurt, the scooter will be taken care of. But damn if I didn't cry big fatty tears all the way home knowing my scooter joy bubble had been so violently popped. :*-(

It's time to be a big girl

I've decided to finally move out of my parent's respective homes. I am too cramped at my mom's, seeing as we share a room which is really awkward when Nick comes to visit. And my Dad and Kathleen have strongly hinted that unless I am pumping out some grandkids (seriously, their words, not mine) they would rather have me move out.
PLUS I would really like my own space, my urges to "nest" are getting out of control. I mean seriously, don't even let me walk through a Bed, Bath & Beyond because I will probably faint from desire to decorate.
Surprisingly I can get a nice room + utilities in a good location in Santa Cruz for around $700/mo. So that completely works in my budget and I am completely stoked on that.

Target move out date: Dec 1st
Current Furniture: bed frame, dining table and chairs, privacy screen, coffee table, two dressers, a kitchen/cooking stuff, tableware set & possibly a desk
Furniture Needs: mattress, couch, bookcases, computer chair

A slightly depressing week.

Yesterday I had the good fortune to have the day off. My brother was in town and I had a few friends that were free, so it was shaping up to be an awesome day. Except what usually happens, happened.
I hung out with my friends Zach and he made fun of how annoying I am and how he didn't really want me around. Kidding of course.
I had lunch with my parents and they made jokes about how annoying I am and how they want me to move out. Kidding of course.
Then I hung out with my brother and friends and they made jokes about how annoying and stupid I am and how they didn't really want me around. Kidding of course.

The thing is, this sort of thing doesn't really bother me because everyone kids around and I can take a joke. I'd also like to think I can throw down a good "zinger" now and then. But the thing is if someone were to follow me around to all my different friend groups, my family and my work you would probably see that everyone makes jokes about how annoying I am and that they can barely just tolerate me. And when you put different groups doing the same thing together in one day, a person can begin to feel a little bit annoying and unwanted.

So today is my depressed day. Where all the attributes I fear about my personality (my stories aren't funny they're just weird, I am a grating person, that no one really likes having me around and I just keep showing up so they just keep tolerating me) I just accept as truth. At least for today. Tomorrow I will probably feel a lot better and try to forget about it.

So for today I apologize. And I apologize for all those times where I've said things that make people cringe because I don't know where the "line" is. I really don't want to make people feel uncomfortable, most times I am just trying to say something ridiculous to make people laugh. I am sorry for any other aspects that I try to control but sometimes slip out and make people look at me like I am crazy. I will try to improve!

Tomorrow they're will be no apologies though, because try as I might I have the memory of a goldfish and always forget to not be crazy.