The main public entrance to the Soquel State Forest and the office that I work at for the Forest are about 25 minutes apart (~5 miles). So when we go out to the woods we take this "state vehicles" entrance that is MUCH closer (1/2 mile). To get to this entrance we have to drive through a quarry, and we usually stop to say hi to the quarry guys since we have a pretty good report going.

Anyway. So we stopped there today and the Quarrymaster leans out of his little hut and says, "So I hear you guys are going to be putting some logs on the ground next summer?" (i.e. we're doing some logging). My boss goes, "Yup, that's the plan!" To which Quarrymaster says "Good! We can't be the only guys raping and pillaging the Earth around here...it makes us look bad!"

I kind of thought that was awesome.

A revelation

I hate girls with flat stomachs. They go around wearing whatever cropped jacket or tight t-shirt they want and it looks totally rocking.

I hate girls with tiny thighs. Lithe little legs that come up to a perky butt. Good god it's all unfair.

Then I realized that to have those things, 99% of girls need to basically starve themselves. Aaaand I get to eat cake and french fries.

Therefore my life is, and always will be, better.


ps. this excludes Candace because I don't hate her at all. Maybe just a little bit of slight jealousy :-)

I

Things I am excited about

This week will be full of stokage:
Monday - Few of my school friends have met her, but my bestest friend in the whole wide world is coming to town tomorrow. Ms Della Vanderbundt and I spent many a junior high/high school/college/current night drinking slurpees, talking about penises, laughing til we probably were in danger of passing out, and then pretending we were deep by talking about life and stuff. She's my Chad to my Bear. I haven't seen her since April and it's going to be awesome!

Tuesday - My friend Kevin and his bro-heim Jeremy are coming up to visit me from LA. I met Kevin on a cruise I took in high school. We had an awkward make out my sophomore year of college (he touched my boobies) but in general have remained friends despite the distance between us. Kevin and Jeremy are on a road trip to Seattle (with these gas prices I thought road trips went the way of the do-do) and I am their first stop!

Wednesday - Nick, nick, nick, nick, Nickelodeon! Very possible that Nick will arrive on Wednesday for a THREE WEEK PASS. Good god I would faint from the possibility. He is making me happier everyday I have been with him, so I am going to probably explode from excitement and mushy feelings unless I get to see him soon. Seriously. It could be ugly. My insides probably are solely made up of bunnies, marshmellows, heart and glitter at this point.

Last thing to be stoked on:
I just got my overtime check! Woot!

I hope everyone else has as much fun stuff coming up!

My mom and I went to the musical "Urinetown" last night, and as always she brought the dog along. Whenever we go out into public with Nico he dons his little vest and does his best to act professional.
Now, despite the fact he is wearing the BRIGHT orange vest and has a BRIGHT orange leash all of which are covered in writing saying, "Hearing Dog" or "Guide Dog - Do Not Pet" I am constantly surprised with how ignorant people are about the whole thing. I understand the occasional restaurant waiter who upon first seeing us gives my mom the ol, "You can't bring dogs in here," and then they have the double take moment when the see the vest and go, "oh. nevermind." That's legit. They're doing they're job and then see their mistake.
Nope usually its the common man which has a tendency to udder the stupidest stuff. What I really don't understand is that for some reason they all think because it's a hearing dog everyone in my mom's party lives in Cone of Silence. Because there is nooo possible way we would be able to hear you talking about us from 3 feet away is there?
Here's some gems from last night.
1. After we had been waiting in the lobby for 20 minutes next to this old woman and her daughter who were saying the usual things like, "Oh look at the puppy," and, "Wait mom, it says Heeeearing dog," we head into the theater. Then the mother leans into her daughter and goes, "She's bringing the dog into the theater?" (Her utter tone of disgust not able to be communicated in type) Yes, you dynamic duo. Even though you've got the brain power to figure out that it is in fact a service dog of some kind, you would think we would just leave Nico sitting in the lobby for two hours? Riiiight.
2. As we were walking out of the theater this man says to his entire posse, "Oh my god. Look that lady brought a puppy in here, that is sooo Californian." Right. Or you could take the 2 seconds to look at the BRIGHT orange vest and not look retarded.
3. Then of course there is the everyday, everywhere we go comments of, "It's a puppy." "It's a little training dog." Which isn't that bothersome in itself because I get it, he's small. But I cannot express how we hear this about 20 times when we go out anywhere. Which goes back to the whole Cone of Silence thing. we can hear you. all of you. Would you walk down the street and say in a normal voice, "Oh my god. Look how tall that lady is!" No, cuz it's rude to talk about the other people even if they have something that makes them stand out. Unless there's a dog involved and then all bets are off.

For Mariana, a little blast from the past.

Liz's Perfect Man:
Big, pursed lips
Makes me tea
Is on time (I am hyper-actively puntual. he'll give me a coronary otherwise)
Bakes with me
Makes me laugh everyday (still true!)
Teaches me about something new (still true!)
Tells me I am beautiful (still true!)
Hugs, cradles and nuzzles well (so true!)
Comfortable spending time with my friends
Content to spend the night in
Puts my name on something public (Like a skywriter? I think I just meant like a tree or something)
Clean shaven
Kisses me and holds me in public
Talks and charms my parents
I can talk with freely (I will talk to him whether he likes it or not. Its my nature)
Can express his emotions/frustrations with me (true!)
Isn't lazy (Someones gotta motivate me outta bed)
Good samaritan and person
Chivalrous
Kisses my forehead (still true!)
Holds my thigh (This is creepy for some reason)
Scratches my head
Listens to his horoscope (This is obviously a dealbreaker)
Makes me chicken soup when I am sick (Yeah, he's totally perfect for doing this. specially cuz he forgot I am a vegetarian)
Unexpected gift, unexpected time (Who doesn't love surprises?)
Snuggles in the morning (I mention snuggles a lot. Apparently its important)
Knows my favorite TV shows (At the time it was Dawson's Creek. aaawesome!)
Kisses at stop lights
Likes my laugh (This is still true and VERY important. If he hates it, we're screwed.)
Defends me
Knows magic tricks
Doesn't talk back to waiters
Doesn't wear mirrored sunglasses
Talks to pets like children
Knows the color of my eyes (They're shit brown. Fuck it up and you're retarded)
Lets me beat him in games (Why would he have to let me, when I am going to kick his ass anyway?)
Beard on the back of my neck (Seems to contradict my clean shaven requirement)
Listens
Is patient
Positively impacts my life
Drives an off-road vehicle of sorts (Very environmentally responsible of me)
Thirst for learning
Can fix things
Loves to travel
Can build things
Makes time for me
Has an accent
Is a leader (Leadership usually is conjoined with a uniform. Double bonus!)
Artistic cowboy (Yeah, yeah. I know)

Damn you visa commercials...

I would just like to say I loooove the Olympics. I love the ceremonies, I love the outfits, I love the touching stories that go along with each athlete, I just love the whole thing!
It's such an amazing thing to see our entire world come together to compete. The idea that every athlete there is the best their country has to offer and one gets to walk away the best in the world is so inspiring! Plus the fact that it gives meaning to sports that otherwise get no attention (archery, diving, fencing, etc) is pretty cool as well.
And I think the most interesting thing about the Olympics and being a spectator for it, is that you are cheering people on not because they represent a sport or a country but because they represent the possibilities of the humanity. Sometimes I don't care if the athlete is from the US, but rather that they pushed passed insurmountable odds to showcase their talents and the things they love. That to me is where the true inspiration of the Olympics comes from. They swimmer who doesn't have an Olympic sized pool in the entire country to practice in, the Afgani woman athlete who had to leave the country because she received death threats about compete but carried the flag into the stadium representing her country as a big "Fuck You", or the people who are trying to win the first medal of any kind for their entire country. It's all so emotional!
Good god. And the commercials. They seem to capitalize on this whole "triumph over adversity" thing and the ability to push past normal limits of the human spirit thing to emotional crafted masterpieces. "But he...and his father...finished." Friggin' gets me everytime man.
If you want to find me... I'll be in front of the TV watching NBC...

Long-distance relationships and why Texas is the worst state ever.

So I have realized that the past three relationships I have been in have been long-distance. I don't know what that says about me, but it has definitely made me a default expert in the trails of being separated for so long.
There's so much about separation that hurts. Being alone when you need someone to cry on, lack of snuggles or sex, no kissing, no every day silliness, not being able to reach them all the time on the phone, etc. It basically seems like it's a marathon race. EVERYONE knows how much it sucks to run it. It's a cronic grinding down of the quality of your relationship. The hope is though, that if you make it through the end of the marathon that the reward of finishing will outweigh all the hardships.
And in some ways long-distance relationships can be closer. You have to TALK to each other, have conversations and get deep. In normal relationships you can sometimes hide that by activity or sex.
This relationship with Nick is interesting. It's a lot easier than the other ones because there is a set time limit to the distance. He will be back in 9 months, which comparatively to the unending time with McAvoy or Kevin is nothing! It is harder though because he is very much a physical expresser of his feelings and pretty much zero on verbal expression of them. That gets a little difficult when all we have is a verbal relationship!
Oh well, such is the marathon of it all. I guess it's like with the real race. You just focus on the moment you're on. Don't think about the friggin' 22 miles ahead of you.

Little Known Facts

+ Toby Keith must perform in front of an at least 20 foot tall American flag, otherwise his voice comes out in a perfect falsetto.

+ Toby Keith is not a red-blooded American. He is in fact a red-white-and-blue-blooded American.

+ Toby Keith bathes in the tears of the Dixie Chicks.

+ Toby Keith is not white collar. Collars are for commies.

+ Toby Keith's song "Angry American" was actually written to target the Democrats.

+ Killer dolphins are trained by the sweet baritone of Toby Keith's voice.

+ Underneath Toby Keith's cowboy hat is the nest of an American bald eagle.

+ Toby Keith refers to his boots as 'Qaeda Kickers.

+ Toby Keith can prolong his erection by singing the National Anthem.

+ Jack Daniel's secret filtration technique involves Toby Keith's used socks.

My brother and his wife comes into town this weekend, which is to say my brother from Washington DC who is a reporter and not the Air Force one is coming into town. Sometimes I think people forget I have two, so I thought I would clarify.
It's always an interesting thing when Nick (my brother, not the boyfriend) comes into town. My mom and him honestly DO NOT like each other. But tragically they still love each other, so they try to visit and hang out with each other but it never works.
I think the problem is that my mom and brother are both really stubborn (i probably am too, but less ignore that for a second). They both get it into their heads that they are right and then cannot see it any other way.
I am pretty sure this is where my desperate need to compromise comes from because I am constantly playing the judge and laying the smack down on them two. "Mom, you're being rediculous because of A. Nick, you're pissing her off because of B. If you two just stopped A & B we can move on and pick a friggin' place to eat ice cream!" I am like a small time, familial Judge Judy.
So it's a mixed blessing today. I am excited to see my brother and Camila, but also worried about what rediculous fight they're probably going to get into.
Sigh.