Can't buy me loooovve

Being that I am a child of divorce I have always put a lot of thought in what it means to love someone. I strongly believe you cannot fake love. Love has to come out of mutual respect, understanding and affection. You, especially, cannot buy love. Women who are with old men simply because they buy them cars and jewels don't make any sense to me. Even with all the stuff I would still feel like barfing every time "Daddy wanted some sugar". Eww. eww. eww. Buy love is just not an option.
Then Nick mailed me an iPod Touch.
Hmmmm....

My home.

So I know I moved in here in November, but I just got a digital camera so I haven't been able to SHOW you what my house looks like! Here it is in all its cozy glory...












My living room... which i couldn't show the other half of. but it's big and full of light!










my bedroom.... skinny, but looong.

Things My Mom Never Told Me That May Have Screwed Me Up...

There are several things that I feel every kid hears growing up from their mom. Not so much me. Mom says she didn't think they were important...

1. Make your bed every day
2. Wash behind your ears
3. Wash your lady parts (don't worry, I figured that one out myself)
4. Don't talk to strangers
5. It's impolite to scratch yourself in public
6. Write "Thank You" cards
7. Don't interrupt people when they're talking

Things That May Have Been Unconventional That My Mom DID Tell Me

1. Sex is the best thing ever
2. Smoking pot every once in a while won't kill you
3. You don't have to finish your plate or eat food you don't want to
4. You have large calves, and maybe shouldn't wear short dresses
5. Be as crazy as you want
6. Say what you want
7. Waiting for a man to do something for you is ridiculous
8. Always have enough money to escape
9. You don't have to apologize for being who you are and doing what you want
10. Marry a man who can fix things
11. You're my favorite kid

Eh

Computer is fixed.
Funny things have happened in my life.
I slept until 1, so I feel disgusting.
The urge to write is not so much.

the saga continues

Here's my insane saga of trying to get my computer fixed, if anyone cares. Not that exciting, but DAMN frustrating...
1. computer broke. my friend Derek who is a legitimate IT person says it's my harddrive and that he will copy all the old stuff to a new harddrive for me. Sweet. = $90.00
2. Get the harddrive back, install it in the computer. It doesn't work. So I take it to a computer shop. = $80.00
3. Computer shop says it boots up fine. I take it home. Doesn't work.
4. Take it back to the computer shop, it works for them fine. Take it back to my house. Doesn't work.
5. Take it to a different computer place, works for them fine. Take it home. Doesn't work. They suggest a new mouse and keyboard.
6. Get a new mouse and keyboard ($30.00). Install it into the computer. Doesn't work.
7. At my mom's house, I systematically go through everything that plugs into my computer to try to isolate the problem. They all work. Plug in just my stuff. It works just fine.

So here's the answer to my problem. My house has an invisible force field around it that doesn't allow computer towers to boot up. I win!
Grrrrr...

Worth it

So I haven't had the internet in three weeks. It's been a little difficult to post, but this is worth it. Unless you've been in a coma, you know about the Beyonce "Single Ladies" video and how it is hip-shakingly fantastic. You haven't seen ANYTHING yet...

This blows "Exploding Varmits 2" right out of the water!

This Saturday I went to the Pico Blanco Staff Reunion/Holiday Party. I've gone for the past eight years and it is a good nerdy time to be had by all. We sing boy scout songs, share inside jokes, some people wear their uniforms, and above all we play Pico Bingo.
Pico Bingo is a pretty simple concept. When you arrive you get a bingo sheet and place a piece of paper with your name in the "Pico Bingo" box. Then as the party gets started you go around and get signatures from fellow partiers to fill out the bingo squares. In order to play you must however bring a Pico Gift. This is a cheap item, usually under $10, that is somewhat rediculous. Things like opened bags of candy, a spagetti fork, Hannah Montana gear, records from the 70s, etc. The most rediculously awesome gift in recent memory was "Exploding Varmits 2" on VHS. Anyway, the whole point of the gifts is that when we play Pico Bingo, when your name is called out of the box people check it off their bingo sheet and you can go up and pick up a rediculous gift. It's a good time to be had by all.
This year when my name was called I went up and picked up a big box which was pretty light. When I opened it up there was one of those fake dove ornaments you can put on your Christmas tree. I thought it was pretty, however when I went to pick it up to show everyone - it moved its little beady eyes to look at me. There was a fucking live bird in the box. Mind you, I did not say cage or box with bird supplies such as toys and water, but just a box.
When I told everyone my present was a bird they all laughed because they thought I was trying to make them believe it was a real bird when actually it was a fake bird. So I whipped it out. Cue stunned, slack-jawed silence.